Pet loss: why losing a pet hurts so much, euthanasia guilt and what helps

Living with a companion animal is now common. In Korea’s 2025 national approved statistics, based on home visits to 3,000 households, 29.2% of households kept a companion animal (Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Rural Affairs, 2026a), and 32.9% of people who keep or have kept one said a pet of theirs had died (Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Rural Affairs, 2025). In a study of 975 adults in the UK, 32.6% had lost a beloved pet. Almost all of them had also lost a person, and 21.0% of them chose the pet’s death as the most distressing loss (Hyland, 2026).

People often speak of “pet loss syndrome”, but it is not an official diagnosis (DailyVet, 2025). Even the diagnosis for long-lasting grief (prolonged grief disorder) is currently defined around the death of a person (Hyland, 2026). That does not make the grief small. In a study comparing college students, grief after a human death was slightly higher on average but the difference was small, and in both cases closeness to the one who died explained grief severity best (Eckerd et al., 2016).

After a pet dies, it is common to feel numb or disbelieving at first, to be preoccupied with the loss, to feel you have lost part of yourself and to be drawn to reminders. In a study of 88 people, between half and four-fifths had these reactions (Archer & Winchester, 1994). For most people they ease with time: among 174 people who had lost a dog or cat, the share reporting at least one grief symptom fell from 85.7% at first to 35.1% after 6 months and 22.4% after a year (Wrobel & Dye, 2003). Grief after a death in general is covered in grief: what helps.

mind.io does not offer a pet loss test. This guide uses research to explain why losing a pet hurts so much, euthanasia decisions and guilt, how to tell children, what helps and when to get a new pet, the signs that you need help, and practical steps and support in Korea and elsewhere.

Attachment explains the size of grief best. In a study of 71 people who had lost a dog or cat within the past year, those with a stronger bond with the pet and those with a more anxious attachment style reported more severe grief (Field et al., 2009), and in a study of 496 people, too, a more anxious attachment style went with greater grief (Lykins et al., 2024). In a study of 301 German-speaking adults, the link between attachment and grief was especially strong when the animal had stood in for human relationships (Doering et al., 2025).

A sudden death and living alone are also named as factors that make grief heavier. In the study of 88 people above, grief scores were higher the stronger the attachment, the more sudden the death and when the person lived alone, but they were not linked to the kind of pet or how long the owner had had it (Archer & Winchester, 1994). In another study of 103 people, those living alone also had more physical symptoms (McCutcheon & Fleming, 2002). If you feel isolated after losing the animal you lived with, loneliness: what helps may also be useful.

Grief that others do not recognise is another big reason. When a loss goes unacknowledged and the bereaved cannot express their grief, it is called “disenfranchised grief” (Spain et al., 2019). In an experiment where people read imagined bereavement stories, the grief of someone who had lost a companion animal was seen as less legitimate than that of someone who had lost a partner or a child (Sarper & Rodrigues, 2025). In in-depth interviews with 10 pet owners in Korea, “grief that cannot be expressed or recognised” and “grief you hold back yourself” were main themes (Jang et al., 2025), and in a Korean survey of pet owners, interviewees said the gap in empathy from people without pets made it hard even to grieve openly (KB Financial Group Research Institute, 2025).

Support from others, on the other hand, helps. In a study of 429 people who had recently lost a dog or cat, those with more social support had less grief, depression, anxiety and physical symptoms (King & Werner, 2011). In a study of 210 adults in Türkiye, attachment again explained grief best, and a social climate that kept people from grieving freely made grief greater (Demirci et al., 2025).

Guilt is one of the most common feelings after losing a pet. In a KB Financial Group Research Institute survey of 1,000 pet owners in Korea, 54.7% of pet-owning households had been through a pet’s death, and 71.5% of them had blamed themselves or felt regret for not caring for the animal well enough (KB Financial Group Research Institute, 2025). In interviews with 7 adults in Korea who were still struggling a year after their loss, “guilt that nothing resolves” was a core experience (Kim et al., 2025). The American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) explains that you may feel guilty for not noticing an illness sooner, for not being able to afford more treatment, or for deciding on euthanasia too soon or too late, and that doubting whether you made the best decision is common and normal, whether the pet was euthanised or died of illness or injury (AVMA, 2025).

For owners facing euthanasia, the hardest part is often deciding when it is “time”. In an analysis of what 143 US caregivers wrote, this was named the biggest challenge, and regret was often accompanied by guilt, though a few came to accept with time that they had done their best with the information they had (Kogan et al., 2026). The burden of caring for a sick animal and financial circumstances also emerged as factors in considering euthanasia (Spitznagel et al., 2020). Feeling these real limits does not mean you loved the animal any less.

Whether euthanasia makes grief heavier or lighter is a question on which studies disagree. In a study of 177 clients of Canadian veterinary practices, euthanasia was among the risk factors for grief (Adams et al., 2000), but another study found that people whose pets died naturally had more grief and isolation than those who chose euthanasia (McCutcheon & Fleming, 2002). In the free-text answers of 140 participants in a US dog study, no clear difference was found in how often owners mentioned grief, blame or guilt (Ryave et al., 2026), and in the Turkish study the effect of euthanasia shrank once attachment and the social climate were taken into account (Demirci et al., 2025). In other words, grief and doubt can follow any kind of goodbye.

It also matters not to carry the decision alone. In an Italian study, owners who felt their vet was empathic and that the decision was shared had less grief and regret (Testoni et al., 2019). The AVMA notes that easing guilt takes time, and encourages owners to be gentle with themselves, remembering that they decided as well as they could with what they knew then (AVMA, 2025). In a study of 431 people who had lost a pet, self-compassion moderated how strongly grief severity, and difficulty talking about the loss, were linked with depression. The study looked at one point in time, so it cannot show cause, and the researchers recommended future research on self-compassion training (Bussolari et al., 2021). Practices for being kinder to yourself are in how to build self-compassion.

How a child reacts depends on their age and stage of development. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises validating a child’s sadness, and remembering that not every child shows grief as sadness: anger is a common way to express it too. Toddlers find death hard to understand and may keep asking where the pet has gone (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2023).

If the pet was euthanised, avoid saying it was “put to sleep”: young children take words literally and may become afraid of sleep or surgery. Covering it up with a lie such as “he ran away” or “she went on a trip” is not a good idea either, and it is fine to say honestly “I don’t know” when you don’t (Nemours KidsHealth, 2020). If the pet is terminally ill, rather than hiding how serious it is or saying everything is fine, explain what is happening in words suited to the child’s age (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2023). Children may also feel lonely, angry about the euthanasia, frustrated that the pet did not get better, or guilty about not caring for it as promised (Nemours KidsHealth, 2020).

It is best not to brush a child’s grief aside. In a UK study that followed 6,260 children from birth, losing a pet was common, with 63% having lost one before age 7, and these children had slightly higher mother-rated emotional and behavioural difficulty scores at age 8 than children in pet-owning homes who had not lost one. They did not differ from children who had never had a pet, however, and as an observational study it cannot show cause (Crawford et al., 2021). In interviews with 32 children aged 5 to 18 who had lost a pet, every child dealt with grief by keeping a bond with the pet, for example by remembering it and talking about it (Schmidt et al., 2020).

There is no set time for a child to get through grief. But if months later your child still struggles with daily life at home or school, cannot stop thinking about the pet, or has trouble sleeping or serious anxiety or low mood, talk to their paediatrician (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2023).

A review of 48 studies of people who had lost a pet concluded that more research is needed on which ways of coping actually work (Park et al., 2023). So what we can know for now is what people say helped them. In the KB Financial Group Research Institute survey, households that had been through a pet’s death said these helped: taking time to grieve fully and accept the death (53.6%), empathy and comfort from family and friends (42.4%), adopting a new pet (33.3%) and talking with other owners who had been through the same thing (21.6%) (KB Financial Group Research Institute, 2025).

It helps to be with people who understand your grief. Cornell University’s College of Veterinary Medicine notes that there is no “normal” way or set timeline for grieving a pet, and advises surrounding yourself with people who understand what the loss means and setting boundaries with anyone who does not respect your grief (Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, n.d.). When those closest to you cannot offer that support, the AVMA suggests looking for a place where you feel emotionally safe, such as a pet loss support group (AVMA, 2025). In an analysis of answers from people who had lost a pet, many participants wrote that simply putting their feelings into the survey had helped (Packman et al., 2014).

Remembering the pet and keeping a bond works differently for different people. A review that synthesised the research found that rituals, memorials, memories and dreams sometimes eased grief, but that a continuing bond could also deepen grief, especially when others did not recognise it (Hughes & Lewis Harkin, 2025). In a study of 133 people, the type or number of memorials was not related to growth after the loss (Spain et al., 2019). There is no right way to hold a funeral or sort through photos; whatever suits you is enough.

How you handle your feelings may also make a difference. In a study of 303 pet owners in Korea, those who dealt with their feelings by accepting the loss and putting it in perspective tended to feel less pain at the separation, even when they had been strongly attached (Park & Jeong, 2022). Some people say that losing a pet led them to see their relationships or their life in a new way (Packman et al., 2017), but such growth is not something that has to follow.

There is no right time to get a new pet either. Cornell’s College of Veterinary Medicine says there is no “correct” time, and for some people years pass before it feels right (Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, n.d.). A review of the research also found no conclusive evidence on whether a new pet reduces grief or simply delays it (Hughes & Lewis Harkin, 2025). The AVMA notes that a new pet cannot take the place of the one you lost, but can become a new companion to share your life with (AVMA, 2025). With children, it is best to present a new pet as a new adventure rather than as a way to cope (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2023).

Most grief eases with time, but for some it lasts. In a study of 106 people at one US veterinary clinic, about 20% had marked grief reactions and about 30% had milder grief lasting 6 months or more, while reactions that seriously disrupted daily life were uncommon, from under 5% to 12% (Adrian et al., 2009). In the UK study, 7.5% of people who named a pet’s death as their most distressing loss met the diagnostic requirements for prolonged grief disorder on a questionnaire, similar to people who had lost a close friend (7.8%) or a sibling (8.9%). It was a single online sample, though, so it needs repeating (Hyland, 2026).

In an online survey of 137 adults in Korea who had lost a pet, scores above the cut-off on a complicated grief scale were found in 79% of those whose loss was within the past year and 25% of those whose loss was longer ago. Most respondents were women and people who were struggling may have been more likely to take part, so these are not rates for pet owners in general (Ahn et al., 2023). In the KB Financial Group Research Institute survey, 16.3% said it took a year or more to get over their low mood after the loss (KB Financial Group Research Institute, 2025). In a small Japanese follow-up study, the researchers judged that a doctor’s help is likely needed when severe symptoms last more than 2 months (Kimura et al., 2016).

If months later you still find it hard to manage daily life at home or work, your low mood is deep or lasting, or sleepless nights keep coming, seek help from a psychiatrist or a counselling professional. The AVMA also advises professional help if low mood is deep or long-lasting (AVMA, 2025). mind.io does not offer a pet loss test. The depression check-in (PHQ-9) is not a pet loss test, but it lets you look at depressive symptoms over the past 2 weeks. The difference between long-lasting grief and depression is covered in grief: what helps, signs of depression in depression symptoms, and sleep problems in insomnia: what helps.

If you find yourself wanting to follow your pet or no longer wanting to live, please do not carry this alone. Reach out to a crisis line right away: call or text 988 in the US and Canada, call Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK and Ireland, or find a line at findahelpline.com elsewhere. If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.

In Korea, the Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Rural Affairs is piloting a four-session “pet-loss psychological support programme” for owners and people who have lost a pet in Seoul, Daejeon and Gumi (North Gyeongsang) in October and November 2026. It covers the needs of older animals and the owner’s role, preparing for the goodbye and end-of-life care, understanding pet loss, and healing and recovery, and applications were taken through announcements on the ministry’s animal welfare learning site or local government websites (Ministry of Agriculture, Food and Rural Affairs, 2026b). As it is a pilot, check announcements to see whether it continues. Some local governments, such as Gangnam-gu in Seoul, have also run pet-loss healing groups for residents (Gangnam-gu Office, 2022).

In Korea, when a registered pet dies, the change must be reported within 30 days, at the district office or a registration agent, or online through Government24 or the national Animal Protection Management System (Seoul Metropolitan Government, 2024). If you use a funeral service, you can check in that system’s business search whether it is a licensed animal funeral business (Animal and Plant Quarantine Agency, n.d.).

Outside Korea, start with your vet or family doctor. In the US, Cornell University runs a pet loss support hotline staffed by trained veterinary students; it is not a mental health hotline (Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, n.d.). In the UK, the charity Blue Cross offers a free and confidential pet loss support helpline, webchat and email (Blue Cross, n.d.). In Korea, you can get counselling from a psychiatrist or a mental health welfare centre; services after a bereavement are listed in grief: what helps. Your vet is also someone you can talk to: in a survey of clients of Swiss veterinary practices, 33% named their vet as the person to talk to about pet loss (Fernandez-Mehler et al., 2013).

Q. Is pet loss syndrome an illness? A. It is not an official diagnosis (DailyVet, 2025). Even the diagnosis for long-lasting grief is currently defined around the death of a person (Hyland, 2026). But if your grief is heavy and lasting, you can seek help whatever it is called.

Q. How long does grief for a pet last? A. There is no set timeline (Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, n.d.). Among 174 people who had lost a dog or cat, the share with grief symptoms fell to 35.1% after 6 months and 22.4% after a year (Wrobel & Dye, 2003), and in a Korean survey 16.3% said it took a year or more to get over their low mood (KB Financial Group Research Institute, 2025).

Q. Was choosing euthanasia a mistake? A. That doubt is common and natural. You may wonder whether you made the best choice whether the pet was euthanised or died of illness or injury (AVMA, 2025), and studies comparing grief after euthanasia and after a natural death disagree (Adams et al., 2000; McCutcheon & Fleming, 2002; Ryave et al., 2026). Remember that you made the best decision you could with what you knew at the time.

Q. When can I get a new pet? A. There is no right time (Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, n.d.), and no conclusive evidence on whether a new pet reduces grief or delays it (Hughes & Lewis Harkin, 2025). Rather than trying to replace the pet you lost, ask yourself whether you are ready to welcome a new one.

Q. People say “it was only an animal”, and that makes it worse. A. Grief for a pet is easily seen as less legitimate (Sarper & Rodrigues, 2025). Such reactions can make grief heavier, so talk with people who understand or who have been through the same thing (AVMA, 2025).

Q. Can I tell my child the pet has “crossed the Rainbow Bridge”? A. The “Rainbow Bridge” is a comforting story reported to have begun with a piece written by a woman grieving her dog at 19 (National Geographic, 2023). If it comforts adults, that is fine, but first tell a young child briefly and honestly that the pet has died (Nemours KidsHealth, 2020).

Q. Is there a pet loss test? A. mind.io does not offer a pet loss test. The depression check-in (PHQ-9) only looks at depressive symptoms over the past 2 weeks; it does not judge whether your grief is “normal”. If guilt weighs on you, the self-compassion test can help you look at how you treat yourself.

Q. It is so hard that I have thoughts of harming myself. A. Please do not carry this alone. Reach out to a crisis line right away: call or text 988 in the US and Canada, call Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK and Ireland, or find a line at findahelpline.com elsewhere. If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.

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